So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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