And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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