woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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