Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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