No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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