I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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