Pappa wants mamma naked
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
