I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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