we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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