Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
where are my eyebrows?
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