wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
