hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
