Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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