Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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