Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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