oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
