He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
