Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
