Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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