I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
