i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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