I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
