Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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