Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
