i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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