I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
