its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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