I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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