You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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