so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
