He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
