I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
