GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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