i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
