Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
