guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
