he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize