I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
