Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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