Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
