Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
