would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
