the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
