Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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