Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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