I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
