I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize