can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize