fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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