she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
