Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
