Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
