I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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