This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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