Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i believe in u and ur pee
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
