Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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