eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
