Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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