from now on my penis is your penis
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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