Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
