sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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