Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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