pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
